Tips for Handling Complaints and Angry Customers - by The Conflict Training Company

A pause in time saves nine!

Last week one of our suppliers told us a little story. He'd been having a bad day (yes, one of those!) and by the time he'd gotten around to calling his bank about a long standing complaint, tempers were running high. It seems the clerk who took his call had been on some sort of 'be-nice-to-the-customer-but-stick-to-your-targets' course, so they were dutifully rattling through their checklist. Half-way through exposing his problem the 'customer' got cut off by a terse "I understand how you feel" (tick!) immediately followed by "This is what we're going to do:..." (tick!).

By the end of the call, our supplier was in half a mind to switch banks... Looking back, it seems obvious what went wrong: his emotions hadn't been acknowledged and that made it very difficult for him to perceive anything else than a red rag waving in front of him!

So, what can we learn from this little incident about handling customer complaints?

1. Be prepared to pause

Pause your thoughts: Take a mental step back to recognise the thoughts circulating in your head. You may have heard it all before and this may just be another person 'trying it on', they may be using inappropriate language or raise issues you find upsetting. Any of these could influence your response and possibly make matters worse.

So take a deep breath, put your preconceptions on hold, and listen with an open mind.

Theory: Between two people communicating, whoever lets their feelings dictate their reactions first, has lost control of the situation. Becoming aware of those feelings, irrational or not, is the first step to regaining control.

Pause your speech: Particularly if they are at the receiving end of any kind of institutional assistance, your customers are probably used to being interrupted and ignored. Which is probably why they will tend to 'get in there' aggressively to make their point. The best way to disarm them is to literally pause and be ready to listen attentively.

Stopping whatever else you are doing at that moment helps enormously, too: it can be maddening if people pay more attention to their computer screen, their notes or a conversation with a colleague than listening to you.

Theory: Everyone has a need to be understood. When you take the time to pause, listen and really understand what a person is trying to express, they will feel valued and respected.

2. Be careful with 'I understand how you feel'

Whilst the spirit of such a statement is laudable, it's a double-edged sword...

If it is only meant as an automatic, polite comment (or if it is perceived as such), you are reducing your chances of gaining the other person's trust and respect. Be sincere, and pause to let the statement sink in.

Also, some people may take offence about you claiming to 'understand how they feel'. Think of other ways you could convey the same empathy without making assumptions and sounding patronising.

3. Be careful with offering solutions

Whenever possible, give people the opportunity to come up with their own solution. Even if their response is way off the mark and impracticable, you will have transferred some power over to them, and they should be more amenable to your own suggestions.

If you have to be more directive, try and offer a choice between two alternatives: "would you like me to call the person right now or would you rather do it yourself later?".

Remember that although it may make you feel good to have a 'quick fix' at hand, it will make the other person feel even better if they are involved.

(By the way, all this also applies when negotiating with children!)

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Tips for Handling Complaints

Conflict prevention, de-escalation and management in the workplace